song of the moment

I've had a little more free time than normal now that school is over (but I won't know my grades till Wednesday UGH) and I found a song I forgot about that really fits how I felt/feel about someone who in a way prevented me from finishing school when I could of. I let him become a priority in my life when school and my career should have been the number one thing on my mind.

Stupid Boy - Keith Urban

Well she was precious like a flower
She grew wild, wild but innocent
A perfect prayer in a desperate hour
She was everything beautiful and different
Stupid boy...you can't fence that in
Stupid boy...it's like holdin' back the wind

She laid her heart and soul right in your hands
And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans
She never even knew she had a choice
And that's what happens when the only voice she hears is telling her she can't
Stupid boy
Stupid boy

So what made you think you could take a life
And just push it, push it around
I guess to build yourself up so high
You had to take her and break her down
Oh...

She laid her heart and soul right in your hands
And you stole her every dream and crushed her plans
She never even knew she had a choice
And that's what happens when the only voice she hears is telling her she can't
You stupid boy

Oh you always had to be right
And now you've lost the only thing that ever made you feel alive

She laid her heart and soul right in your hands
And you stole her every dream and crushed her plans
She never even knew she had a choice
And that's what happens when the only voice She Hears is telling her she can't
You stupid boy
Oh, I'm the same old, same old stupid boy

It took a while for her to figure out she could run but when she did she was long gone, Long gone

Oh she's gone
She's long gone
Yeah she is
Yeah, ohhh

Oh, nobody's ever gonna love me like she Loved me
And she loved me, she loved me
God please just let her know I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry baby
Yeah, im down on my knees
She's never comin' back to meeeeeee

I've obviously since moved on with my life, but this really hit me today when I heard this song on the radio today after not hearing it for years. Tears filled up my eyes and I remembered how I felt all those years ago when everything fell apart. But when I did figure out that in the long run I would be better off, I ran just as fast as I could away from it all. I doubt that he still thinks of me fondly, and I'll never know that for sure. I know that he has moved on and doesn't need/want me back in his life and that is great. I'm the happiest I've been since I was 18. There is a whole world out there waiting for me and the stupid boy is gone.

What is your song of the moment?

I'm done?!?!?

I took my final at 1:30pm on Monday for my math class. I'm not really sure how I did....I know there were at least three questions I did not know how to answer. I know the whole last half of the test was easy for me because it was a section I actually understood and remembered which formulas to use. On Friday my professor told me I could fail the midterm and still get a C, which isn't ideal but it's passing and I've worked my butt off to keep a low B in the class. I've never been good at math and I wasn't going to kill my brain to get an A. I had to have a tutor and I worked day and night for that grade.

I'm not sure how to feel right now, it doesn't feel like I'm done, but I am. I'm still volunteering with the organization where I interned so that will keep me busy while I look for a job. Now I have something new to be anxious about because Andrew had promised me that once I finished school we would get engaged. I have no idea if it will happen before the end of this year or not. He wants everything to be a surprise, which coming from someone who isn't the most romantic is shocking to me. I've never wanted anything more than to be his wife and I'm praying that it happens this year or around our anniversary in February.

Today is Thanksgiving with Andrews family and then another turkey day with mine tomorrow. I'm so thankful to finally be done with school and I hope that I get a job quickly. I'm thankful for the support of my family, Andrew and his family, my friends and everyone on here who gave me such wonderful advice!!!

Thank you all and have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

What's been going on 2

Well, I've been absent again for a little over a week but here is what has been going on:

• I take my final on Monday, I've already turned in my portfolio for my internship and its pass/fail so I'm assuming that I passed.
• I've been studying day and night, re-taking tests and working on homework to bring my grade up just in case I don't do all that hot on my final. But good news, if I do great on the final he will drop my midterm which I got a C on.
• My grandparents are headed back to Florida this weekend to be snowbirds again.
• I'm making a turkey for the first time to take to Andrew's parents house for Thanksgiving on Wednesday then making a few pies to take to my parents for Thanksgiving on Thursday. Here's to blowing my diet.
• I haven't had any time to clean, cook a really good meal, work out or do much of anything else (including reading blogs or commenting when I have time to read something).

I can't wait for all of this homework to be over with; if I ever considered going to grad school I know now its not for me or at least not right now. It will all be worth it come mid-December though when I get that diploma!

I hope everyone has a wonderful Holiday and a great weekend, just in case I don't post again for a while. I need to get my sanity back after this final!

Christmas Cards

I've been obsessed with Shutterfly for the last two months. I've been using them to upload photos and print them since I have little time to run to Meijer or Target to print photos. I've also been compiling a book of all of our house projects on there and when the house is done I'll get it printed. I love all of the neat photo gifts they have and plan to take full advantage of that after I get married (ps: I'm not engaged yet but I have my whole wedding planned in my head). I've been to several weddings where they made a photo book and used it as a guest book at the church, which is a really neat idea!

I'm hoping in the next few weeks I can get a good picture of me and Andrew so that we can do a photo card this year, even include the dog maybe. Here are a few of my favorite designs. You can find other designs here

I love the ornaments on this one and I'm a big "Merry Christmas" person so that was my number one stipulation the card had to have!
I love the band of snowflakes on this one and the font on Merry Christmas. The modern look is also really nice.
This one is probably only really cute if you had a baby (which I do not), but I couldn't pass up this adorable card!

They have plenty of other gifts also for your family, including wall calendars and canvas wall art which I'm sure anyone would love. I've never had an issue with their shipping or items not arriving on time and the quality is WONDERFUL!

Bloggers get 50 free holiday cards from Shutterfly… sign up: http://bit.ly/sfly2010

These are my confessions

I've always loved this Usher song and when I saw this was a writing prompt this week, I was all over it, so here you go, these are my confessions:

I'm afraid of never finding a job where I'm happy and where I'll get to use my degree.

I don't ever think I'll stop loving the guy I dated for 3 1/2 years in college even though I know it would never work out and I love Andrew.

I'm scared I'll never loose the weight I want to.

I'm also scared I'm going to have zits and breakouts for the rest of my life. I know Accutane is the only thing that will help me, but I don't want to go through that again.

I miss some of the friends I've lost in the last three years, but sometimes I wonder if they were only meant to be in my life for a brief time.

Sometimes I think I sabotaged graduating from college for myself because I was too scared of the real world.

Okay so these are some really hardcore confessions and I usually post something funny....what are your confessions?