the newest member of our family

A long time ago (okay maybe two summers ago), I posted about my hatred for the van Andrew had purchased. The basic purpose of the full size van was to tow our boat around in the summer as well as supplies we needed for the home projects. At the time, we couldn't find a truck or SUV that was in good shape that we could afford, but thankfully now things have changed.

Last week, after a dinner out we stopped to look at a used truck in a lot near our house. After a quick pass around the body, a test drive and a quick examination we decided the truck was just what we were looking for if we could talk them down on the price. Its a 1998 Dodge Ram 4x4 with an extended cab. But the one down side, its a manual transmission which I have yet to learn how to drive.

I'm happy that we have a nice vehicle that is almost paid off thanks to a good tax return and the money from selling the van (which only took two days to get rid off all thanks to Craigslist). The truck has been all the excitement around here, I swear that Andrew talks about it in his sleep and will probably be the main topic around here for quite sometime!

love and valentines

Even when I was single, I never thought that Valentines Day was a made-up holiday. My mom always went out of her way to make it special for us, making our milk pink for breakfast, buying us chocolates and for me a Valentines Day shirt to wear to school.

I can clearly remember the first Valentines Day with Andrew, he bought me a fishing pole (we still laugh about that one) and cooked me dinner for the first time. I baked him cupcakes and had a friend take some portraits of me to give him. Every year I've had the tradition of making us a yummy dessert and dinner. This year was a red velvet cake with cream cheese icing.

Please excuse my novice cake decorating skills. I was off work today, so I picked up 5 Guys for Andrew and I and took it to him at work. When I woke up this morning, there was a huge box of chocolates on my spot on the couch and then he came home with a beautiful lily.

I know that plenty of people think Valentines Day is stupid and that you don't need an excuse to tell someone you love them. While I agree a little with that statement, I do think its nice to show someone how much you care for them and any excuse to eat chocolates all day is fine in my book!

an update in photos

My life has not been very exciting recently, I've mostly been working and doing things around the house. Over the weekend, Andrew and I celebrated our four year anniversary. It was pretty low key, we spent Saturday night at his old roomates place out in West Jefferson. They were having a little party and it only seemed appropriate to hang out at the place where we fell in love. We exchanged small gifts (I got Andrew a grilling book and a sign for the garage) and he got me a spider plant. I know that sounds odd, but I've been wanting one for a long time and it will be a nice addition to our other house plants.

I also learned how to crochet on Sunday and took to it pretty quickly. I'm hoping to turn what I've started into a large blanket for our living room. I've loved knitting on the loom, but I can only make hats and scarves using those and since this winter has been so mild, I'm kind of over it!

Its sort of relaxing to come home after a long day at work and spend the evening working on this blanket.....its therapy for me without all the cost.

We also moved some furniture into the new room downstairs and the old office upstairs is basically empty (all that's left is a dresser) and we'll be turning it into a spare bedroom. I still need to go get some furniture from my parents house so we can fill the room back up again. As far as stuff for the rest of the room, we want to get a loveseat and a TV and sort of use this room as a place to relax and a home office space. Up next on the remodel list is putting in a bathroom next to this room and a mudroom as well.

I've also been busy with the wedding planning - picking out a pattern for the flower girl dresses, finally finding invitations that I like and go with our theme, ordering seeds for the flowers we are going to grow and narrowing down the colors. These next seven months are going to pass quickly I imagine!

Four

I cannot believe that its been four years and that in just seven months we will be getting married. It doesn't seem like very long ago that we were falling in love.

I cherish all of the memories of our first year together: our bike rides around West Jefferson, laughing till we cried, looking for houses, getting to know your family, dinners out and meals cooked together, parties, holidays, trips to Hocking Hills and early morning or late night fishing.

I never thought that I could find someone who makes me so happy and lets me be myself. Our journey together has not been easy, but no love story can be perfect.

I will never forget the joy I felt in my heart and soul the day you asked me to marry you. I don't think I've smiled so much in years and somedays I still find myself staring at my ring in disbelief that I will be yours forever.

"Love is the ultimate outlaw. It just won't adhere to any rules. The most any of us can do is to sign on as its accomplice. Instead of vowing to honor and obey, maybe we should swear to aid and abet. That would mean that security is out of the question. The words make and stay become inappropriate. My love for you has no strings attached. I love you for free." - Tom Robbins

Frustration

I've become increasingly frustrated with my current plan of losing weight. I have not been consistent recently and the stress is really starting to get to me. The little bit I lost, I've gained back. My face is super broken out and my pants are getting tight again.

While grocery shopping yesterday, I didn't put anything horrible in the cart. No brownie mix, valentines day candy (even if those conversation hearts are my favorite thing on earth), ice cream, bad snacks for work and no pop. I did get some sun chips, but I figure those can't be nearly as bad. While browsing Pinterest yesterday, I saw a workout tip sheet about how one candy bar = 85 minutes of walking to burn off. That really hit me hard, I don't want to be this person anymore.

Its not all about my weight or how I feel (though I have zero self confidence most of the time), its about my fear of having health problems and having even less confidence than ever. It doesn't help that I have a very critical mother who is always asking me what I'm going to do to loose weight for the wedding or why I don't try harder. She's always judging me when we go out to eat, staring at whatever I choose and making me feel bad about my decisions. Sometimes even my fiance is pretty judgemental and its really hurtful. I know this sounds crazy, but every time my mom tells me I need to loose weight, I loose my motivation.

I am determined to go to the gym tonight and really bust my butt at least three days a week when my work schedule allows. I have to do this for me.....not for anyone else.