Friday, October 17, 2008

Haiku Friday - The Break-up

Haiku Friday

It all fell apart
Just when I thought it was real
You hurt me so bad

I screamed and I cried
You sat there, emotionless
Wanted to punch you

I am glad I know
now that you are an asshole
Why did I love you?

"We are not alike"
"We just pick and fight too much"
"We could not marry"

Words like those cut deep
Still you do not care at all
Want to erase you.

This week has been hard, but honestly today for some reason I feel so much better. I fell asleep last night not even thinking of him, but did dream of him most of the night. I can't help but wonder if he ever loved me, but now its up to me to make a change in my life. When school is done I am going to do something for myself. I want to move away for a while. I want to go to Pittsburgh and make my life there at least for a little while. I want to prove to everyone that I can make a life for myself without a man, and if it happens that I marry a Steelers player when I move there then so be it! I would not be disappointed at that, not one little bit!

Well at least its Friday, let the weekend begin! It finally feels like fall and I want to get out and enjoy my new life. Although Sunday I have to get my stuff back from the ass.....thats gonna suck.


kouji said...

would have totally approved if you'd decked the guy.

am glad you're feeling better. :)

maggie said...

Oh, ouch. I'm so sorry. I'm sure so many of us have been there, but it's a whole different feeling when it's your dog lying in the street as the saying goes. Be gentle with yourself and take a little time to pamper yourself and do what makes you feel happy, healthy and empowered. Sending hugs!

Amanda said...

Kouji: Maybe a little smack in the mouth would have been okay ;)

Maggie: Yeah it sucks but throwing myself back into work and school is helping, I went and got a manicure last night too so that was a nice moment just for me!

Jenn in Holland said...

Ah, crap. I am so sorry for the down times. Glad you are feeling better. Good luck getting your things. Ugh, I wish it was easier sometimes...

Mel said...

Yeah, I think I would have slapped him across the face when he admitted to cheating. Not for the confession, but for the flippancy.

I am glad you're feeling better -- I bet the self-pampering helped.

Give me a call if you need someone to talk/listen/hang out. I'm free on Sunday before dinner time or so for the hanging out part. And of course tonight is always an option if you like, and you can call anytime all weekend.