Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Another "weight loss" update/vent session

So I've been getting better about this whole working out thing. They put new equipment in our gym at my college, new ellipticals, treadmills and bikes which all have TV's, fans built in (there is no A/C in the building) and they are all state of the art. I did my first mile the other day on the elliptical and it felt amazing. Several people have said they can tell I've lost some weight, and some of my "fat jeans" are falling off of me. I'm getting rid of each pair and I'm determined to NEVER wear that size again.

The hardest part has been my crazy school schedule. I'm in class three nights a week right now and eat on the go more often then I'd like. Usually I just grab a frozen coke at the gas station and a bag of M&M's, real healthy.....not. I'm trying to take a granola bar and water with me to class instead and make a big healthy lunch at home before I go. I think what has been hard for me is seeing everyone else I know getting so thin and sexy and me being the fat one. I have friends with kids that are thinner than me and it makes me feel I have no excuse for gaining all this weight. I need to make myself stop looking at pictures of myself from recent events and focus instead on how good I can and will look instead of how bad I feel I look right now.

I know its not all about what other people think, I want to feel good about myself again. I want to fit back into my "skinny jeans" that I haven't been able to wear in about two years. I feel like Andrew isn't as attracted to me as he used to be, and he makes little comments about how he wants me to be healthy and blah blah blah but isn't always so supportive of how hard this is for me. Please don't get me wrong, I don't think he's going to leave me or something its just hard for him to know the right thing to say sometimes. I'm trying to find a workout buddy right now so that I have a little more encouragement. I am thankful for the support of all you wonderful ladies who've given me the strength to keep on going with this; it means more to me than you will ever know!

Five years ago I looked like this (I am the last one on the right), I mean I had a little mid-drift showing, I'd never do that now:
And most recently I look like this (I'm in the white button down):
Lets hope that by the end of fall I look like that top picture again!!!!

3 comments:

Stephanie said...

you can do it :) keep up the motivation and each day it will get easier. the key is to stick with it long term, and not expect it to come off in a week or two. :)

Steph S. said...

YOU CAN DO IT! I'm cheering you on, just like i always do for everyone with the same type of goals. Getting healthier is hard. It takes time and patience - biggest rule of thumb (my husband taught me this and he's so right) don't weigh yourself every day - just once per week. Work out, eat healthier, weigh once a week ;) GOod luck!

Suzie Que said...

Good luck! I know it's a struggle. I never understood weight issues until I hit my 30s and now realize: losing weight is hard! Be mindful, take it day by day, and go easy on yourself. You're not a failure because you don't weigh what you did at 20. I'm not sure many people do!