Monday, January 30, 2012

Frustration

I've become increasingly frustrated with my current plan of losing weight. I have not been consistent recently and the stress is really starting to get to me. The little bit I lost, I've gained back. My face is super broken out and my pants are getting tight again.

While grocery shopping yesterday, I didn't put anything horrible in the cart. No brownie mix, valentines day candy (even if those conversation hearts are my favorite thing on earth), ice cream, bad snacks for work and no pop. I did get some sun chips, but I figure those can't be nearly as bad. While browsing Pinterest yesterday, I saw a workout tip sheet about how one candy bar = 85 minutes of walking to burn off. That really hit me hard, I don't want to be this person anymore.

Its not all about my weight or how I feel (though I have zero self confidence most of the time), its about my fear of having health problems and having even less confidence than ever. It doesn't help that I have a very critical mother who is always asking me what I'm going to do to loose weight for the wedding or why I don't try harder. She's always judging me when we go out to eat, staring at whatever I choose and making me feel bad about my decisions. Sometimes even my fiance is pretty judgemental and its really hurtful. I know this sounds crazy, but every time my mom tells me I need to loose weight, I loose my motivation.

I am determined to go to the gym tonight and really bust my butt at least three days a week when my work schedule allows. I have to do this for me.....not for anyone else.

1 comment:

Caitlyn said...

Next time just tell your mom that you're pregnant and you can eat what you want, ha ha. Kidding!! I don't want her to have a heart attack.

Hey, at least you're trying. I understand it's hard; the only time in my life I ever lost weight was because I got horribly dumped. Also, did you know that extra weight is a sign of a stable and happy relationship? That's why Will and I are so chubby. :D

No matter what, feel good about yourself. Moms love us and sometimes they don't realize that their "trying to help" comments actually do the opposite. When that happens, I think we have the right to ignore them, ha ha.