Thankful

I'm working a 12 hour shift today, its pretty boring around here on the holidays so I figured I'd have time to write out my list of what I'm thankful for this year.

1. My fiance Andrew, no matter what he's always been there supporting me and loving me. He works so hard to provide us with a comfortable life, he's been working on our house nearly every day and can always make me laugh when I'm about to cry. I cannot wait till this time next year when I'm his wife!


2. My family. The last two years have been rough with my dad loosing his job of 27 years, my brother starting his own business and my mom taking on a leadership role at her work. No matter what, they have always been there for me too and love me for me!


3. My home. Sure its not a mansion and its not even totally remodeled yet, but its a nice little start for me and Andrew. I'm sure that in five years or so we'll outgrow this house but the memories we will make here will last forever.


4. My job. Yeah, its not my dream job at all, but at least I have an income that pays the bills and lets us have a little extra money for things like a shopping spree at the thrift store or a new couch and love seat (which should be moved into the house when I get home).


5. My health. I've really come to value my health watching so many women struggle with Ovarian Cancer through my volunteer work. I believe its something we all take for granted and really shouldn't.


6. My in-laws. They might be totally different than the rest of my family, but they have been so good to me over the last year. I'm so happy to have such a close relationship with my future mother and father-in-law and Andrew's siblings. I'm also thankful that my brother and Andrew get along so well and have become good friends.

I'm sure there's a million more things that I could write to be thankful about, but I think I'll just keep it short and sweet. This year has been a crazy amount of ups and downs in my life and I can only hope that next year will bring more amazing memories and wonderful times. There have been wonderfly happy moments: our engagement, graduation, accomplishing things with our home and there have been some moments that have been hard: finding out my grandpa had lung cancer, my dad having to change jobs again. Next year there is going to be a lot to be thankful for and hopefully I'll do a better job of keeping up on this blog.

I hope that you and yours have an amazing Thanksgiving and take a moment to reflect on what you're thankful for this year.

another weekend here and gone

This weekend was pretty good considering I was off work on Friday and so was Andrew. We started off our long weekend with a Thursday night dinner out at Tumbleweed after meeting with our wedding photographer. I think she really understands my vision for the wedding and the photos and it doesn't hurt that she's so sweet and does an AMAZING job! We spent Friday running our errands and working on the house, got a take and bake pizza at Meijer and settled in for a night at home.

Saturday and Sunday were more of the same, but we did make time on Saturday to go to the Franklin Park Conservatory. We had planned to drive out to Battel Darby park, but it was super windy and since most of the good stuff at the Conservatory is indoors it worked out a lot better. I've been pretty bummed about how we can't afford to take a little trip and get out of here so being out of the house and doing something nice together was good and much needed. Sunday also turned into a good day because we finally got new living room furniture. Our couch is literally falling apart and is so uncomfortable that neither of us can stand to sit on it. We really did want to wait till we could afford something without financing it, but the deal was good and we couldn't pass it up. We should have the new stuff in a few weeks and I'll post some pictures then.

I've also decided to give it a rest on my job search for the time being. Nothing seems to be working out and all of the rejection is getting way too hard for me to handle. For now, I'm just going to have to suck it up and deal with being broke all the time, continue working hard and proving that I'm capable of a better job and keep working hard with my volunteer work to help build my resume. I don't need all this stress during the holidays, I want to be able to enjoy my time with family even if I'm going to be working like mad through all of the holidays. There are still days when I question my going back to school and if it was really worth leaving a job that I liked, I know that my degree is important, but so far it hasn't helped me find a job. Every month I fork out $500 to pay for it and it will take me almost 12 years to finally see that zero balance. Its hard every month watching how we can't get ahead and not feeling the need to blame myself for all the money problems we have.

I've got to learn to quit asking myself all of these what if question and just learn to live with the way things are.....and pray that they will get better because I know I deserve so much more. So here's to hoping that this is a good week!

Crafting, knitting and sewing

The winter months are quickly approaching and with dark coming at 6pm I've been looking for ways to occupy my evenings so I don't want to go to bed super early. Last winter I spent a lot of time reading since Andrew was going to bed around 7pm so he could wake up at 3am and go into work to make sure his trucks started in the cold weather. I still plan on doing more reading but I wanted something else to occupy those cold evenings.

I bought a sewing machine at an auction but have yet to get a new needle or clean the machine up. I also need to clean my "office" so I have a place to put said sewing machine. I also have zero sewing supplies (thread, scissors, you know stuff that I might need in order to sew). A few weeks ago I went to dinner with some of my friends from college who've gotten into loom knitting so I bought a loom.

After a few frustrating first tries I made a hat and then made another (I think the yarn is a little too stiff but its still cute). The grey one is my first attempt and its okay, the teal is my second and the yarn is a little stiffer but I love the color and how the white flower turned out as well. I'm planning on getting more yarn tomorrow so I can start making a scarf and possibly a blanket. I was so excited that I figured it out all on my own and actually crafted something again. After working at Joann Fabrics for 4 years, I got pretty good at crafts but haven't had the time to do many recently.

Hopefully soon I can get my sewing machine up and running and make some pajama pants (something easy to start with) and move into some holiday decor or maybe some drapes for my living room and pillows for the bay window.

One month later, such is life

Its been a month since I've written anything on this blog and as much as I've missed it, taking a break has been pretty nice. My head has been swimming, I've been an emotional mess for the last three weeks or so and now I've finally found the time to think about it all and move on.

My job hunt has been un-fruitful at this point, despite all the interviews I've been on, not a single job has wanted to hire me. The rejection is wearing me thin and I'm having a hard time trying to figure out why I'm such an undesirable employee to these companies. But on a much better note, I'm now the Marketing Chair with my volunteer work and tomorrow I'll present my plan and budget to the board of directors which I'm praying will go well.

I've been working out, though not as much as I'd like to be, and starting to feel better. I haven't lost a ton of weight but when I leave the gym the endorphins are raging through me and it makes the day a whole lot better. Andrew said at the beginning he'd go with me, but never does so its sort of my alone time as well, zoned out to my music and sweating on the elliptical.

Emotionally I've been all over the place, trying to keep up the positive attitude comes and goes. I've also been feeling rather emotionally disconnected from Andrew recently and I'm not sure why. I think we've both been working a lot and not making enough time for one another. Last week I tried to remidy this with a nice dinner out, but we had bad service and the food sucked and we both left upset/not talking the whole way home. My hope is that this weekend we find some time to reconnect and get back to where we were back in April when we got engaged.

I've done some wedding planning, got the tent deposit paid, found some bridesmaids dresses online, I'm meeting with the photographer and started looking for a caterer which needs to be wrapped up soon.

I'm not looking forward to winter at all, though the fall was really pretty it just rained way too much. Hopefully we can hang onto some of these 60 degree days for a few more weeks and it won't snow till Christmas morning.

Here's some photos for you as well :)

An evening walk at Alum Creek

Everyone needs a good guard dog

Buzzards