I didn't take a single picture at our Easter family gathering yesterday. I was much too consumed with chatting with family, eating lots of yummy food and playing card games with my younger cousins. I was also sad watching my grandpa taking it all in, knowing that he wasn't feeling great with his hair falling out for the fourth time, skin peeling from the radiation and swollen ankles. He couldn't even get his own plate from the food line since its so hard for him to walk. I had to eat in the other room to keep from crying.
I kept wondering how my dad was feeling as well; this is his last week at work. For the second time in five years, his position has been eliminated. The last time this happened, he was working for the same company for nearly 30 years. This time, it's only been one year. Andrew was able to help him get an interview where he works and I'm praying so hard that it will work out and he will get the job.
I want to be happy about so many wonderful things right now but it's so hard. Today marks one year since Andrew and I got engaged and we're just five months away from the wedding. I'm really enjoying my new job and love all the people I work with each day. My brother is buying a house soon so I'm excited for him as well....but all the while there is so much tragedy in my mind. I find myself spending much of my alone time thinking about how hard these last five years have been but how they have also been so exciting.
On a lighter note, there was some fun to be had this weekend. Saturday Andrew and I spent the day at an estate sale (one of our favorite nice weather activities) and scored a bed/nightstand for our spare bedroom, metal shelves to further organize the basement, yard tools, a 30 cup coffee percolator/warmer for the wedding and some tools for Andrew to use at work. I did however get my first sunburn of the season and my forehead is killing me.
I'm hoping that I can spend this week reflecting on the positive side of life and getting back into my routine!