Thursday, December 6, 2012

Five years and the next seven

One of our first photos together at his brothers wedding
On February 5, 2013 Andrew and I will have been in our relationship for five years.  This is now my longest relationship.  We'll be married for close to five months by then as well.  My mother-in-law once told me that the first seven years you're married are the hardest.  She said things will happen in those seven years that will make you both question your relationship, struggle, fall more in love and then eventually realize that you were always meant to be together.
Our first Christmas Card photo 2011
In our first five years as a couple we have been through so much that I often wonder if the first seven years will be similar.  When we first met, my dad lost his job of 28 years.  It was an awful time for my family.  His grandmother became very ill and his mom spent much of her time as a caretaker.  Andrew bought a home and I moved in with him, no commitment at that time other than him being my boyfriend, but I knew it would come with time.  At our two year anniversary things were really looking up and that second year I cherished so much.  We really grew into a good couple and people around us could see our love.  I went back to school that year and Andrew supported me all the way, allowing me to give up working full time so I could focus on school and an internship.  I graduated and got a job, which I later grew to hate but had to stick out for a whole year.  In our third year, my grandpa was diagnosed with stage 3 lung cancer.  I was devastated but Andrew was always there to listen, to let me cry, to let me be angry and he visited my grandpa with me nearly every time I went to their house.  In April of 2011, shortly after our 3 year anniversary Andrew proposed and I was so happy I thought nothing could top that moment.  By the next spring, my grandpa was really sick and I had started a new job.  I was planning a wedding, trying to be there for my family, trying to be a good housekeeper and juggling a new job that would include traveling for 5 days two weeks before my wedding.  I was so stressed and scared that I could never get everything done.

We got married on September 22 and my grandpa died on September 27.  Talk about a roller coaster of emotions, but steadfast as ever, there was the love of my life watching me and my whole family fall apart.  I knew in that moment that I could not have picked a better man to marry.

Through everything bad and good that has happened Andrew has always been my constant.  Yes, he makes me insane but I honestly can't stay mad at him.  We've had about three fights that I would call "major blowouts" and one of them was literally three weeks after our wedding.  I was so scared, I didn't know if a fight as a married couple would be different than one as an engaged couple or a dating couple.  It wasn't pleasant but things are much calmer since and it brought up more things that we just needed to further discuss and clarify. 

Someone also told me at our wedding that you have to make yourself fall in love with your spouse every single day.  They said to always "date" one another and that will keep the romance alive.  Its now my personal mission to try my best to do this on a daily basis.  I know that life is not meant to be easy by any means and that love is a rare gift that we should all treasure.

No comments: