I am sitting here at work and all of a sudden it hits me so hard that its really over. Maybe I've just been going through the motions of being okay because it didn't seem real to me until just now. No texts or emails in the middle of the day to say hi, no lunch break phone call to talk about our morning, no weekends spent hanging out, no more walks with Bessie. All of a sudden that ache deep in my heart has returned, it hurts so bad I can't even concentrate. Most of me wishes I had never met him because then I wouldn't be feeling like this.....I hate the ache of a broken heart more than anything. I know a new boy won't make it go away, only time can and its gonna suck for quite a while I assume. What makes it worse is that I know he is not hurt at all....he could care less. If he was standing in front of me right now I would punch him in the gut so hard just so he can see how I feel. I heard once that it takes half the time you were with someone to get over them, thats about 3 months for me. I just want him to hurt the way I do.....I want him to wonder why he is such a horrible person and when his ex comes back I want her to reject him so fast that his head spins backward and won't turn back around.....for now moving away to the one place I love is what I am looking forward to.....
2 comments:
Broken hearts are never easy to mend.....but it will heal with time.
Another thing to look forward to is the fact that this will make you stronger. Allow yourself to go through the motions (like you're doing) and actually feel all of those unsavory emotions that will inevitably rear their ugly heads. Writing about it surely helps to gain some clarity. I'm betting you may be in a completely different place is a week or so.
Hang in there :o)
I am hoping that in a week or two I feel a lot better. He called me last night to see how I was and I just let it all out and it did make me feel a little better, still sucks but things are improving little by little....
Thanks for the encouragement!
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