Monday, August 10, 2009

An opinion piece

As much as I HATE to admit this, I often find myself sucked into celebrity gossip and as of lately the story of John and Kate Gosselin of John and Kate Plus 8. When I first learned of their divorce, I was mostly sad for their kids and then the rumors started to swirl about their cheating and indiscretions. I wasn't sure what to believe (or who to believe was in the wrong) and awaited the new episodes of the show to find out. I believe that fame went to both of their heads and maybe as some have said they married and had children too quickly. Kate has admitted many times that she knew she wanted to have kids right away, and in all those interviews John just sat there and didn't say a word.

I've been paying attention to their separation for sometime now through the show and the tabloids, which are about as addicting as crack or for me good chocolate. This morning Kate had an interview on Good Morning America and I read the follow-up online. I am more than convinced now that she is truly heartbroken and may regret some of her choices in the past, such as how she treated John and how quickly the fame went to both of their heads. I do believe that she is a good mother and that she wants what is best for her kids. That show, her books and everything else will put those kids through college and probably beyond, but its sad that their parents split was probably caused by this sudden fame and money.

No one wants to think about getting a divorce, whether they are married or not, I know that the thought of that just makes me cringe. I can't imagine loving someone and then finding out later they are not the same person you married or met all those years ago. I cannot imagine what that would do to a child and since my parents are still together I honestly have no idea. When Andrew and I talk about marriage that subject has come up because of ugly divorces that have occurred in his family causing family land and money to be lost in the shuffle and many people to be angry. I don't want something like that to ever happen to us or anyone that we know. So now the struggle will begin over custody, money and any other possessions that have been acquired during the marriage.

So then the question becomes, should you protect what you have in a marriage? Should you sign an agreement if you hold valuable assets (aka Pre-nup) to protect what is yours outside of the marriage - or - should you just trust that nothing bad will ever happen and it won't matter in the end? That is the issue that I am struggling with now, although Andrew and I don't plan to marry for a few years this is something that we must consider. He stands to inherit a valuable piece of property and money at some point in his life, while I don't really expect to acquire much of anything as far as money or land is concerned. I'm not sure if anyone who reads this has any opinions or advice on this issue, but I just wanted to let that out and see what happened!


Unknown said...

In my opinion, you can never trust that anything bad won't happen, because some things are outside of your control. However, I don't include marriage in that generalization, because, as a couple, NOTHING to do with your marriage is uncontrollable. In the past three years, I've realized that to love someone is a choice. All that stuff about "falling out of love" is crap. If you fall out of love with your spouse, it's your own fault. Monogamy is also a choice. I'm sorry, but there's no such thing as "I couldn't help myself," because you ALWAYS can. If someone cheats, it's because they never straight up decided not to, or at least, not to look, because it all starts with looking. That's the thing, there's no magical aspect of love that makes it so strong nothing can ever happen to break it, it's the choices people make daily that determine if their marriage is going to last fifty years or five months.

Ha ha, sorry, a bunch of people I know (who should know better) are going through divorces right now, so I've thought about this a lot!

Amanda said...

I totally agree....I don't think that you can just not be in love with someone anymore. You should know before you get married if you can picture your entire life with that person....but I also think that fame and money can change people and make them go nuts and therefore ruin their love.....but idk, I'm not married so I guess my opinion might not be accurate! lol