Friday, July 9, 2010

My constant battle

I've been trying to loose weight for about a year now and its a battle I feel like I'm never going to win. Just when I start to get on track, I get frustrated and give up. I've been more consistent about working out (thank goodness I can use the nice gym at my college) but the diet thing has been difficult. Its so much easier to cook junk food and its a lot faster too. I love to make cookies and having them around is a horrible temptation. We've gone out of town several times in the last month, so we had to eat out a lot, which means junk!

I've honestly never felt this bad about my body before, I don't like people to take pictures of me because I feel so self conscious. There are days when I don't even want to get dressed because I hate seeing the size in my jeans and the way my clothes fit. I let my depression about all of this get the best of me and then I give up - again and again.

But this time, I'm not going to let the way I feel get to me. I have a wedding to go to this fall for one of my college roommates and I want to look good and buy a dress that makes me feel sexy. I want to be the same size I was the last time I was happy in my body. I'm not trying to force myself to be an unhealthy or unattainable weight, I just want to feel good like I did all those years ago.

I know that all of this got out of control after Andrew and I started dating, I grew comfortable in our relationship, we ate out a lot and I quit working out so we could spend time together. I hate letting the way I look control so many things about my life and I have to be my own biggest supporter. I've let the fact that I don't have a "workout buddy" get the best of me before but now I am my own workout buddy and my own biggest support!

Anyone else have some words of encouragement?


Stephanie said...

You can do it! :)If you like running, you could buy a Nike+ tracker and we can "compete" online. That kind of stuff always keeps me motivated because I want to be the first to win! Ha.

I've found that working out is only a small part of losing weight... the majority of it is what you eat. I LOVE Weight Watchers and cooking their meals is easy. They're really good. It's also easy to turn a regular recipe into a "skinny" recipe.

If you have questions just email me. You'll do great and FEEL great!

Steph @ Professors_Wife said...

Keep working! Never give up. I've found over time that portion control and exercise really do the trick - no fad diets here. I'm a sugar addict, and I really don't like splenda, so I exercise an extra bit if i have something REALLY GOOD (but really bad, calorie wise.) Love this post, and appreciate the honesty! Just keep at it!

P.S. I gave you an award!

Deidra Faith said...

First of all, you have to love who you are inside despite what pounds you may have put on!!! Then work on the portion control. Believe that you're beautiful. Believe that you're sexy! Believe that you're all of the things you want to be! The other stuff will follow!

Diane said...

You can do it! As far as the cooking goes, the other cookbook I would REALLY recommend (besides Weight Watchers) is by better homes and gardens call "Eat Well, Lose Weight". It is an awesome book with easy to find ingredients and TONS TONS TONS of DELICIOUS recipes! I really recommend it. Plus none of the recipe's are too time intensive and they don't taste diet like, which is of course the best part.

You can do it! You've inspired me to do better!!