Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Fallen off the wagon

I haven't posted about my weight loss much because it's currently the "elephant in the room." We haven't been super strict about following our diet, I haven't been working out because every ounce of my free time is spent doing homework, meeting with my tutor and for a few hours each night I get to spend time with Andrew. I haven't been cooking horrible things at home and I've been trying to cut back on our carbs, but when we aren't at home we both tend to cheat. Andrew goes out for meals with people at work and we went out of town this weekend meaning that we snacked a lot and ate out a lot.

I really want to loose this weight, but sometimes it seems that I talk myself out of it. Its not that I want to weight this much or not fit into those size 10 or even 8 jeans again, I just feel like I'll never get there. I spend more time crying about it than I do actually doing something about it. When I see a picture of myself I get sick and become tempted to un-tag it on facebook or delete it all together.

I'm not sure what is wrong with me, why I'm so unmotivated is a total mystery. Sometimes I don't feel like Andrew is very supportive. Instead of being encouraging, he makes little comments that to me sound like insults and I get annoyed and shut him out. When I get depressed I want to eat and I don't know how to break myself out of that cycle. I've always been the "skinny girl" but not anymore. I just need to figure out how to get myself back to that place.

I'm not happy with how I look and I literally feel like I've fallen off the wagon which was on the road to weight loss. I know that might sound corny or dumb but it's true. Anyone have suggestions? Maybe I just need a push in the right direction or a little encouragement from my blog friends :)


Stephanie said...

ya know, i always try to stay in moderation, never go "overboard" completely. i do that by thinking ahead to how i'm going to feel the next day, or the next time i step on the scale. will i feel good about it tomorrow or feel depressed and stress myself out?

that usually helps me :)

Kristina Churchill said...

I always give myself small goals...
2 pounds every two weeks. This way I accomplish it in small steps. In 12 months thats'about 50 pounds...

Remember...put yourself on the scale only once a week and treat yourself to some material item, or put $5.00 in a jar everytime you loose 2-5 pounds!

It will take time, but it will be so worth it!

Good Luck,


Leah said...

I know exactly what you are going through. I feel like I was just in a little bit of a weight-loss slump since I've been out of town or just too busy the last few weekends and that has effected my work out regime during the week. But today I got to the gym and ran for about an hour on the treadmill and it felt amazing. You just have to get back there, that's it. Pretty simple, right? Take it one day at a time. Good luck and let us know how it goes. Oh and stop beating yourself up for cheating a little on the diet recently. It happens to everyone. I'm trying to think of it as calories intake and calories out. I can eat this if I'm going to work out as well. It's all about the balance.

Amanda said...

I've given up on trying to look good naked. Aging wreaks havoc on your body.

It sounds like you're being really self-critical. We can give you all the encouragement we can but recognize your gains (terrible pun), rather your successes. You've done an amazing job with changing your diet from what I've read on your blog.
I really like the Weight Watchers idea of "cheat points" because it gives you permission to "be bad". Set an amount of time (like weekdays) dedicated to your diet then reward yourself. There are studies that show those who don't allow themselves chocolate have less of an ability to moderate their consumption once they've had a taste. Just sayin'.
You are NOT disgusting and I think you look great. Weight loss might not happen at the rate you wish but you just have to follow your body. There are some great suggestions on here! Geez. Sorry for the litany.

Unknown said...

I know how you feel. I'm avoiding mirrors this week because Kristin is in town, and my skinny sisters are one of the things that make me depressed. I want to be healthy, I feel like I just don't have the time or the money to do something that will actually work for me. Sometimes I wonder if I don't do it because I'm afraid of really, really trying and failing.

Steph @ Professors_Wife said...

It is definitely hard to find time to exercise - I get up half an hour early 3x per week so I have time to hit the treadmill before I shower for work - once you find a routine and start seeing results, the motivation will really come. Baby steps! I believe in you!