Frustration

I've become increasingly frustrated with my current plan of losing weight. I have not been consistent recently and the stress is really starting to get to me. The little bit I lost, I've gained back. My face is super broken out and my pants are getting tight again.

While grocery shopping yesterday, I didn't put anything horrible in the cart. No brownie mix, valentines day candy (even if those conversation hearts are my favorite thing on earth), ice cream, bad snacks for work and no pop. I did get some sun chips, but I figure those can't be nearly as bad. While browsing Pinterest yesterday, I saw a workout tip sheet about how one candy bar = 85 minutes of walking to burn off. That really hit me hard, I don't want to be this person anymore.

Its not all about my weight or how I feel (though I have zero self confidence most of the time), its about my fear of having health problems and having even less confidence than ever. It doesn't help that I have a very critical mother who is always asking me what I'm going to do to loose weight for the wedding or why I don't try harder. She's always judging me when we go out to eat, staring at whatever I choose and making me feel bad about my decisions. Sometimes even my fiance is pretty judgemental and its really hurtful. I know this sounds crazy, but every time my mom tells me I need to loose weight, I loose my motivation.

I am determined to go to the gym tonight and really bust my butt at least three days a week when my work schedule allows. I have to do this for me.....not for anyone else.

My Pinterest Addiction & Wedding Ideas

I'm going to guess that nearly everyone who reads this blog is addicted to pinterest like I have been for the last two months. When I found out about this website, I almost died because it was such an easy way for me to gather ideas for the wedding. But not just for the wedding, for the house, cooking, fashion, helping me pick out the new dog I want when Andrew decides its a good idea, gardening, workout tips - I mean, you name it and I'll probably 'pin it.'

I've been searching for ways to make this wedding more cost effective and how I can do a lot of things myself since we are on a tight budget. Here are a few of my favorite ideas via Pinterest!

I love the idea of doing the broach bouquet, but I'm not sure how its going to be since I don't have that many broaches. Maybe I can mix some in with the flowers, we'll see how this one turns out!

We are for sure using jars for the table decor since everyone in Andrew's family has them coming out of their ears. We will have a few with flowers in them and then others with candles. I think wrapping the jars in lace will be a nice touch!

This is my general idea for the table decor, something simple so that people can still see one another from across the table. After talking with Andrew's mom on the phone the other night, we've decided to grow the flowers that we're going to use for the reception and bouquets! She is an amazing green thumb and it will save us tons of money!

Then I found this picture of these amazing burlap roses and wondered if this would be a good idea for some of the tables as well. Maybe I won't have time to craft a bunch of these, I have no idea how hard that would be to do either!

Since we're doing cupcakes and a cookie table for the wedding I think giving people a box to take cookies or dessert home is a nice idea for a favor. I'm going to start looking for boxes I can buy in bulk online.

And something funny for you - this is the cake topper that I'm ordering! Its perfect for me and my hunny!

The wedding dress

I've been going back and forth for months about my wedding dress. At first I wanted something short....
I was totally against strapless, having a train, and a skirt that wasn't really full. The first option was to have my mom make my dress so I bought a pattern similar to the dress above in the hopes that we could use her wedding dress to make a new dress. We knew it would be a lot of work but it sounded like fun.

Then I got away from the short dress idea and decided that something that went to the floor would be a little more formal for the church. My mom and I went to Wendy's bridal in Dublin and I tried on several dresses and many different styles. Once I saw what I looked like in a strapless dress my mind totally changed. It wasn't that bad and actually made my bust look smaller. I feel in love with the ruched look and a slight drop waste. Though I did like a few dresses at the first store we went to, I didn't want to jump into a decision right away.

My mom, dad and I made a plan to hit a few used/vintage stores a couple weeks later. So fast forward to this past weekend. Our first stop was a vintage bridal store.....nothing at all what I was expecting. It smelled of smoke, had no heat and they didn't have a single dress in my size. I started to feel sick when we left. I was so sure that I would find something there, I pretty much let everything ride on a vintage dress. Next up was a consignment store, she had beautiful dresses and one that I kind of liked but it was way too big and I couldn't picture what it would look like.

By this point, I was getting depressed and frustrated. Now all my hopes were riding on our last stop, Henris Cloud 9 or going back to Wendy's to buy the dress I wasn't so sure about. Upon walking into the last place, I noticed the prices were really high, but low and behold the sales lady found a dress left from a Black Friday sale that was discontinued and it FIT ME like a GLOVE!!! It even matched the veil from my mom's wedding dress. The best part was that it was on sale for $600 off the original price! When everyone started crying we all knew that it was the one!!

Now I feel like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders and I never believed that it would be so difficult to find the perfect dress!

just wait 5 minutes and it will change

I took the above picture on December 4th. It had been winter for a few weeks but we hadn't really seen any snow. I was totally okay with no snow since I have a 30 minute commute to work. Just a week ago, it was 50 degrees here in the Columbus area and then things changed.....

On Friday I woke up to these crazy snow drifts outside our back door. They are almost two feet high though we only got maybe three inches of snow.

I have a love hate relationship with winter time, the first snow can be really pretty but this was just a bit much. When I got home from work on Friday night, I had to shovel a drift away from the garage door so I could pull inside and the poor dog could hardly get out the front door.

But in true Ohio weather fashion, its supposed to warm up again mid week, all this snow will melt thanks to the rain we are going to get and by next weekend it will be cold again. Maybe its time for me to move somewhere with more predictable weather patterns.

New Year, time off and wedding plans

I can't believe that we're 11 days into a new year and that so much has already gone on in January.

I've been off work since January 6th and I go back on the 13th, this break has been amazing.
I tried on wedding dresses for the first time today with my mom and it was fun.
My best friend and I made a trip to Amish Country, it was unseasonably warm and we had a wonderful time!
I haven't had much luck finding another job but I'm trying to keep positive.
I've been on track with better eating and I've been cooking a lot during this time off from work.
I finally got all of my Christmas decorations put away and a good deal of organizing done.

I'm going to spend my last day off catching up on all the phone calls I need to make for the wedding and finishing up the pile of laundry that needs ironed downstairs. Of course the weather is going to turn to snow tonight and I've got that long drive to the other side of town tomorrow.

My mom and I are going to a vintage shop next weekend to look at more wedding dresses and I'm in the process of finding a caterer. I'll keep you updated on the wedding plans and I hope that everyone is having an amazing January!