When I took the first of maybe 15 or 20 tests, Andrew wasn't home and I panicked thinking about how I was going to tell him. Sure this was not exactly a planned pregnancy, but it's not like we hadn't talked about having kids. I kept staring at the test thinking it was all in my head, but those two pink lines were staring me right in the face. I told him late that night (some of his high school friends stopped by and stayed rather late so I didn't get a chance to tell him for hours, it was so painful). I didn't tell him in some cute way, he asked why I was acting strange that night, why I never finished my glass of wine and I just blurted out, well it's because I'm pregnant.
I remember all of the emotions flooding over me in those first weeks. I certainly couldn't grasp the idea that I was pregnant because I was feeling pretty good and only had a few mild symptoms. I felt guilty about being pregnant because I had several friends at the time who were having a hard time TTC. I felt sad for those women I knew who could never have a baby of their own for whatever reason. I felt afraid that I was completely unprepared financially, mentally and physically to become a mother. I found it funny that Andrew took it all in stride and didn't seem to be phased at all that in 9 months our lives were going to change.
Even though I wasn't holding my baby in my arms that day, I considered that my first Mother's Day. This year I will get to celebrate with my sweet little girl who has turned my mother into a grandmother and my grandmother into a Gigi (Great Grandmother).
Happy Mother's Day to all of the mom's out there. The mom's who have adopted or fostered babies and kids, the mom's who have lost a baby, the mom's who are now grandma's or great grandma's, the mom's who are single and the mom's who are married. All of you are amazing!