song of the moment

I've had a little more free time than normal now that school is over (but I won't know my grades till Wednesday UGH) and I found a song I forgot about that really fits how I felt/feel about someone who in a way prevented me from finishing school when I could of. I let him become a priority in my life when school and my career should have been the number one thing on my mind.

Stupid Boy - Keith Urban

Well she was precious like a flower
She grew wild, wild but innocent
A perfect prayer in a desperate hour
She was everything beautiful and different
Stupid boy...you can't fence that in
Stupid boy...it's like holdin' back the wind

She laid her heart and soul right in your hands
And you stole her every dream and you crushed her plans
She never even knew she had a choice
And that's what happens when the only voice she hears is telling her she can't
Stupid boy
Stupid boy

So what made you think you could take a life
And just push it, push it around
I guess to build yourself up so high
You had to take her and break her down
Oh...

She laid her heart and soul right in your hands
And you stole her every dream and crushed her plans
She never even knew she had a choice
And that's what happens when the only voice she hears is telling her she can't
You stupid boy

Oh you always had to be right
And now you've lost the only thing that ever made you feel alive

She laid her heart and soul right in your hands
And you stole her every dream and crushed her plans
She never even knew she had a choice
And that's what happens when the only voice She Hears is telling her she can't
You stupid boy
Oh, I'm the same old, same old stupid boy

It took a while for her to figure out she could run but when she did she was long gone, Long gone

Oh she's gone
She's long gone
Yeah she is
Yeah, ohhh

Oh, nobody's ever gonna love me like she Loved me
And she loved me, she loved me
God please just let her know I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry baby
Yeah, im down on my knees
She's never comin' back to meeeeeee

I've obviously since moved on with my life, but this really hit me today when I heard this song on the radio today after not hearing it for years. Tears filled up my eyes and I remembered how I felt all those years ago when everything fell apart. But when I did figure out that in the long run I would be better off, I ran just as fast as I could away from it all. I doubt that he still thinks of me fondly, and I'll never know that for sure. I know that he has moved on and doesn't need/want me back in his life and that is great. I'm the happiest I've been since I was 18. There is a whole world out there waiting for me and the stupid boy is gone.

What is your song of the moment?

I'm done?!?!?

I took my final at 1:30pm on Monday for my math class. I'm not really sure how I did....I know there were at least three questions I did not know how to answer. I know the whole last half of the test was easy for me because it was a section I actually understood and remembered which formulas to use. On Friday my professor told me I could fail the midterm and still get a C, which isn't ideal but it's passing and I've worked my butt off to keep a low B in the class. I've never been good at math and I wasn't going to kill my brain to get an A. I had to have a tutor and I worked day and night for that grade.

I'm not sure how to feel right now, it doesn't feel like I'm done, but I am. I'm still volunteering with the organization where I interned so that will keep me busy while I look for a job. Now I have something new to be anxious about because Andrew had promised me that once I finished school we would get engaged. I have no idea if it will happen before the end of this year or not. He wants everything to be a surprise, which coming from someone who isn't the most romantic is shocking to me. I've never wanted anything more than to be his wife and I'm praying that it happens this year or around our anniversary in February.

Today is Thanksgiving with Andrews family and then another turkey day with mine tomorrow. I'm so thankful to finally be done with school and I hope that I get a job quickly. I'm thankful for the support of my family, Andrew and his family, my friends and everyone on here who gave me such wonderful advice!!!

Thank you all and have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

What's been going on 2

Well, I've been absent again for a little over a week but here is what has been going on:

• I take my final on Monday, I've already turned in my portfolio for my internship and its pass/fail so I'm assuming that I passed.
• I've been studying day and night, re-taking tests and working on homework to bring my grade up just in case I don't do all that hot on my final. But good news, if I do great on the final he will drop my midterm which I got a C on.
• My grandparents are headed back to Florida this weekend to be snowbirds again.
• I'm making a turkey for the first time to take to Andrew's parents house for Thanksgiving on Wednesday then making a few pies to take to my parents for Thanksgiving on Thursday. Here's to blowing my diet.
• I haven't had any time to clean, cook a really good meal, work out or do much of anything else (including reading blogs or commenting when I have time to read something).

I can't wait for all of this homework to be over with; if I ever considered going to grad school I know now its not for me or at least not right now. It will all be worth it come mid-December though when I get that diploma!

I hope everyone has a wonderful Holiday and a great weekend, just in case I don't post again for a while. I need to get my sanity back after this final!

Christmas Cards

I've been obsessed with Shutterfly for the last two months. I've been using them to upload photos and print them since I have little time to run to Meijer or Target to print photos. I've also been compiling a book of all of our house projects on there and when the house is done I'll get it printed. I love all of the neat photo gifts they have and plan to take full advantage of that after I get married (ps: I'm not engaged yet but I have my whole wedding planned in my head). I've been to several weddings where they made a photo book and used it as a guest book at the church, which is a really neat idea!

I'm hoping in the next few weeks I can get a good picture of me and Andrew so that we can do a photo card this year, even include the dog maybe. Here are a few of my favorite designs. You can find other designs here

I love the ornaments on this one and I'm a big "Merry Christmas" person so that was my number one stipulation the card had to have!
I love the band of snowflakes on this one and the font on Merry Christmas. The modern look is also really nice.
This one is probably only really cute if you had a baby (which I do not), but I couldn't pass up this adorable card!

They have plenty of other gifts also for your family, including wall calendars and canvas wall art which I'm sure anyone would love. I've never had an issue with their shipping or items not arriving on time and the quality is WONDERFUL!

Bloggers get 50 free holiday cards from Shutterfly… sign up: http://bit.ly/sfly2010

These are my confessions

I've always loved this Usher song and when I saw this was a writing prompt this week, I was all over it, so here you go, these are my confessions:

I'm afraid of never finding a job where I'm happy and where I'll get to use my degree.

I don't ever think I'll stop loving the guy I dated for 3 1/2 years in college even though I know it would never work out and I love Andrew.

I'm scared I'll never loose the weight I want to.

I'm also scared I'm going to have zits and breakouts for the rest of my life. I know Accutane is the only thing that will help me, but I don't want to go through that again.

I miss some of the friends I've lost in the last three years, but sometimes I wonder if they were only meant to be in my life for a brief time.

Sometimes I think I sabotaged graduating from college for myself because I was too scared of the real world.

Okay so these are some really hardcore confessions and I usually post something funny....what are your confessions?

The home stretch and a busy two weeks

Starting today, I'm in the homestretch with two weeks of school left. I'm a little frustrated right now because my grade fell a little bit and I need to get it back up to a "high B" before the final. I've got a chapter test to work on this morning (everything is online except for our final and midterm) and homework from Friday that I have NO idea how to do. Looks like meeting with my tutor will get crammed into this busy week!

I've also got my internship portfolio to finish as well as a meeting for my internship, Andrew going out of town for work at the end of the week, my grandparents going away to Florida dinner this weekend and another meeting for my internship on Saturday. Add in some homework and various household things and I'm going to be pretty busy. After that, its Thanksgiving and we'll probably be working at Andrew's sisters Christmas tree farm that weekend.

This weekend was great, we didn't have any plans! I got all my Halloween stuff put away, changed out my "fall themed" glassware in my hutch and put out all my clear pretty stuff till I break out the Christmas dishes. I really was tempted to put up some Christmas decorations but I didn't. We ran some errands and checked prices on outdoor LED Christmas lights, which I wanted last year but didn't get. We decided on what to get, but I'm going to make it a surprise and post about it later! Yesterday, we did nothing and it was wonderful. We watched a few movies, had some wine and snacks and we were in bed by 9pm (thanks time change).

I'm going to go ahead and apologize now if I don't blog much, I'm going to at least try to do Writers Workshop this week!

Hair disaster

I've had my fair share of hair disasters in my lifetime. I've always had this baby fine hair that doesn't want to do much and my whole life I've longed for thick hair with beautiful waves that I could grow all the way to the middle of my back. Since I couldn't think of just one hair disaster, I'm going to name my top five!

1. "The 9th Grade Perm" - When I started high school, I wanted a new look and for some reason I decided on a perm. A girl at the salon my mom went to needed a model for a perm, so I could get one for free. The perm didn't turn out too bad, but she didn't perm my bangs and it looked horrible. I looked like I came straight out of an 80's movie or something.
2. "The Mushroom Haircut" - In order to get rid of the perm, I decided to cut my hair short, which from the title, turned into the mushroom haircut. It literally looked like I had the cap of a mushroom sitting on the top of my head. It finally grew out into a cute bob, but for a while it was a hot mess!
3. "The Bridesmaid Up-do" - I was in my cousin's wedding when I was about 15, around the time the mushroom was starting to grow out. We went to a salon at a department store to have our hair done for the wedding. Since my hair was at an awkward length I figured the beautician would know what to do, I was WRONG! She teased my hair to the point where I looked like a 1970's or 1908's country singer. When they turned me around, I thought the bride was going to pee her pants. There are photos somewhere of this but I don't have them. I think they'll come back to haunt me some years from now.
4. "Red Highlights" - Along with also wanting long, thick hair I've always wanted red hair. Don't ask me why or where that came from. So one year during spring break I decided to get red highlights, a light strawberry blonde, before going on a trip to Pittsburgh with my best friend. My mom hated it, and so did the rest of my family. Thankfully it was semi-permanent hair color and it came out pretty quickly.
5. "Dark Brown" - When Andrew and I had our brief break up I decided it would be a good idea to change something about myself. I got my nails done, that wasn't enough. So I chopped my hair, got bangs again (what was I thinking?!?!) and dyed my hair a really, really dark brown. I think my mind was wrecked because for a while I thought it was cute, but then realized it didn't look good on me at all. Thankfully a good year and a half later, my hair is normal again.

So what's been your worst hair disaster? Write about it and link up at Mama Kat's by clicking the button below!

Halloween Weekend

My head is still spinning from this weekend, the house is so quiet right now I think I could fall asleep. Though the weekend was a lot of fun I feel like we were going non-stop.

Friday night I attempted to make ham and bean soup, but the beans NEVER cooked, I soaked them over night, cooked them for 6 hours in the crockpot and they were still hard. I guess the lesson learned here is that mix I bought in Amish Country was old and as beans get older, they get harder and become impossible to cook. So we headed out with my brother and his girlfriend later in the night and had some pizza (yeah, we aren't supposed to eat that) and I paid for it with terrible heartburn.

Saturday I was up early cleaning the house and getting ready for my dad's birthday dinner at our house. Andrew's brother, wife and baby dropped by in the midst of all this so the afternoon took a turn for the chaotic and frantic. I felt so rushed trying to get everything done and ended up thinking I wouldn't have enough food. In the end, there were lots of leftovers. The party was great though. I made cabbage rolls and mashed potatoes, we had ice cream cake too and I think my dad had a nice time.

Sunday was the Halloween Party at Andrew's parents house and we had a nice time there as well. There were more people there last year but we still had fun seeing the costumes everyone came up with.

Andrew and I were the "true residents" of our town, everyone makes fun of us because we live in the country. Yes, my hair is crimped.

Andrews brother and his wife were the painting "American Gothic" I thought they looked great!

Andrews sister (left) was my favorite, she dressed up like a biker dude. I loved her tattoo sleeve and mustache. Andrew's mom was an old lady.

This week I've got lots of homework to catch up on and lots to do for my internship. I cannot believe its the first of November already. I have 21 days of school left!!!!! This year is going by way too fast!