Friday, October 31, 2008

Halloween Haiku Friday!!!

Haiku Friday

Halloween is here
Time to be what you are not
Dress up, have some fun

60's girl this year
Hope I can walk in the shoes
Platforms and beer...ooooo

Candy for the kids
Dressed up so cute and so sweet
So carefree and fun

I had a hard time coming up with something more creative this week....even for Halloween, I didn't get much sleep last night. I carved pumpkins with my parents, it was like old times and so much fun! I missed doing things like that for years when I was not home for Halloween. Tonight Andrew and I are going to a party at a friend of his house, which should be fun. I dug up some old vintage clothes I had for a costume, we'll see what everyone thinks about it. I have a black curly wig too so it does not even look like me, which is the whole fun of Halloween in the first place!!! I'll post some photos after the weekend so everyone can see!

Hope that everyone has a good Halloween, and stays safe!!

Friday, October 24, 2008

Haiku Friday

Haiku Friday

World is right again
I know this is meant to be
We needed that break

My heart is whole now
and I know how much you care
My fairytale true

Still stings a little
Fades quickly in your eyes love
Each day a new start

Things are getting better each day with Andrew and I. Yesterday was great. I went to see the "sis-in-law" for her birthday and we had a long talk before Andrew arrived. Yeah, I don't know everything that they talked about but what I do know is that he is in it for the long haul now and that he only wants to be with me. She was right when she told me this was what we needed. I guess about a day after the break-up/break he was missing me just as much as I missed him. He even cried and was super depressed. I'm not saying thats a good thing but we needed this to see how much we really care about one another and to see that this is meant to be.

I've been keeping strong in my faith as well and I know that is helping me so much. Life can get crazy sometimes, but it always works itself out.

As for everything else, well its going I suppose. Work is crazy as always, school is going great and I have a fantastic support system at Otterbein which I am thankful for. I have more determination than ever now! Well its time to get some work done, I've got a long day ahead of me! Have a good weekend everyone!!!!!

Friday, October 17, 2008

Haiku Friday - The Break-up

Haiku Friday

It all fell apart
Just when I thought it was real
You hurt me so bad

I screamed and I cried
You sat there, emotionless
Wanted to punch you

I am glad I know
now that you are an asshole
Why did I love you?

"We are not alike"
"We just pick and fight too much"
"We could not marry"

Words like those cut deep
Still you do not care at all
Want to erase you.

This week has been hard, but honestly today for some reason I feel so much better. I fell asleep last night not even thinking of him, but did dream of him most of the night. I can't help but wonder if he ever loved me, but now its up to me to make a change in my life. When school is done I am going to do something for myself. I want to move away for a while. I want to go to Pittsburgh and make my life there at least for a little while. I want to prove to everyone that I can make a life for myself without a man, and if it happens that I marry a Steelers player when I move there then so be it! I would not be disappointed at that, not one little bit!

Well at least its Friday, let the weekend begin! It finally feels like fall and I want to get out and enjoy my new life. Although Sunday I have to get my stuff back from the ass.....thats gonna suck.

Monday, October 13, 2008

Another week is here.....another weekend gone

So the weekend was good yet again. Friday night I hung out with Erica and David and Andrew for a little bit. I was exhausted and left early to get some sleep.

Saturday I got up and went over to Andrews thinking we were going fishing all day, well that never happened. We didn't go to the haunted house either, which pissed me off but whatever. We did have fun though and it was good to just relax for the day. We ended up hanging out all afternoon, going out to dinner at the Chinese Buffet and then going back to Dave and Erica's to have some drinks. Lets just say that I had one too many, maybe Erica did too....we had an emotional moment together out on the porch. I've been needing a good cry, sometimes those emotional drunken cries are the best kind! I've just been having a hard time lately dealing with the way that my life is going and how I feel like I have nothing to show for everything that I do. I know that I am not the only one who feels so lost emotionally, but its hard sometimes to know what those feelings really mean.

I've been feeling really angry lately as well and I am not sure why. For now I'll blame it on the change of seasons and the fact that I am pretty sure I have seasonal affective disorder and that I hate the cold with a passion. Maybe a mini-vacation would help me feel better. I might see if Andrew wants to go to his brothers cabin in northern Indiana this coming weekend. It might be nice to just get the hell out of here for a few days and leave this all behind. I hate to think that the depression I had almost 3 years ago is going to make another ugly appearance in my life, but that might just be the case. At that time though, things were much different in my life. A bad relationship had just ended, I was drinking and partying way too much that summer, I never wanted to get out of bed and I didn't eat for about 2 weeks. Now the fist of adult life just keeps punching me in the gut making me feel terrible all of the time. I am sick of feeling like this and I really want it to go away.....before I end up chasing away the one person who means the world to me and loose him forever.

And another work week has begun and once again it will be a stressful one. Everyone here likes to wait till the last minute to do everything and then it all gets dumped on me. Sorry for the rant and depressing conversation, I'm just really down in the dumps right now......

Friday, October 10, 2008

Haiku Friday - Dreams

Haiku Friday

Dreamed we were engaged
My ring was so huge, thank you
My mom said, "Oh Lord!"

New dream starts right now
In a haunted house with friends
No one scared but me

Dreams have been so strong
I can recall them for days
They make good stories

I am not sure why I have been dreaming so much but in a way I like it. Every night this week I have had some kind of really strong dream; I'm going to blame it on the change in weather!

Also something I thought was exciting this week.....I got this cool new makeup. Laugh if you must but its pretty amazing, the Almay smart-shade foundation. When you put in on your finger its white and as you rub it in, it turns the color of your skin. Now they do have 3 different tones of it - light, medium and dark to help you get started. Mine came with a free tube of the concealer as well which goes on a little thicker than the foundation. I had my doubts about this stuff, but I would suggest it to anyone who wants a light makeup coverage!

Well, woohoo for Friday! Its also payday which is lovely! Tonight I am going to visit my grandparents and tomorrow its off to the haunted house in Mansfield!

Tuesday, October 7, 2008


I got home from Pittsburgh around 4pm yesterday and it was a great trip! I am hoping though the next trip is for pleasure and not business, and that I will get to take Andrew with me! But enough about that I already posted about the trip a few days ago.

I got back into work this morning thinking well its just a catch up day, and I get this some what nasty email from my boss. She said that people around the office have been saying that I talk to much and share too much about myself and that I bother her all the time. I wasn't sure how to take what she was trying to say.....I could go into more but I won't. Basically she thinks that I am unprofessional and that I need to work harder at not talking about myself or anything that has to do with me. She says she is only telling me all this because she wants to see me succeed here but I have never had an employer say anything of this nature to me before. I guess I just don't know how to respond or what to say to her when she gets back to the office tomorrow and I know that she will corner me about it as soon as she gets here.

I really like this job, but it seems that everyone here takes me the wrong way and I'm not sure if I like that or not. I have had several people tell me that I get too dressed up for work and that I am too girly, okay whatever......its casual here but I am just not like that. I got bumped out of my office bc the IT people wanted to move and I still can't find some of my stuff (I didn't get to move my stuff because I had no time and the IT people did it for me on a Saturday). I have to get my bosses approval for everything that I do, yet she does not want me to "bother" her all the time with my "questions". Part of me almost feels like maybe I should start looking for another job just in case they decide that I don't fit in here. They can still fire me without any notice until November 4th when my probation ends, which after getting that email scares me a little.

On a good note, my class got cancelled tonight so now I will have some time to catch up on things I couldn't do while on my trip, like laundry, cleaning and some school stuff. Andrew is coming over after work to put my new memory in my computer so it will run faster and last me a little longer until I can afford a new one, or buy his old one.

Let me know if you have any advice about the job......I'm stuck and not sure where to turn for answers. I just hope that today does not get any worse................

Friday, October 3, 2008

Haiku Friday is here!

Haiku Friday

Fall weather is here
Chilly mornings and nights now
Leaves will start to turn

Football Friday night
Hoodies, jeans a bonfire
All things that I love

Many birthdays now
Andrew, my dad, my grandma
Just as seasons change

Soon Halloween time
Haunted houses and cider
Will call my name soon.

Okay so I don't actually like cider, but we can But, yes it is fall in Ohio....the start of one of the five seasons we have know Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter and Construction! Now that its colder in the mornings my coffee goes down much easier in the car since its hot and I'm cold instead of me being hot and it being hot as well. Now all I need to feel that fall is really here is a Starbucks pumpkin spice latte!! Oh and a pumpkin donut from Tim Hortons, maybe even some pumpkin pie from Bob Evans!

Busy weekend! Wedding to sing at on Saturday at 2pm, going to a wedding with Andrew at 4pm, his birthday is Sunday and then I leave for Pittsburgh Sunday afternoon! I'll be out of town till Tuesday, so I doubt I will get on here unless the office has a computer that I can take with me. Just catch me on my cell phone if nothing else!

Oh and the AC is still on at work......I mean really why is that necessary to have on when its 40 outside? I look forward to going to get lunch bc I can blast the heat in my car on the way there!!!

Hope everyone has a good weekend!

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Tag! I'm bored!

Blog Tag: It took me a while to get this to work but here it is....good old tag.....stolen from both Catilyn and Melissa! You know how it is. To play along, just answer each question and type the answer into Google image search and post the first picture that comes up.

First Name: Amanda (yeah right if I looked like this......oh man) - from

Middle Name: Lynn (Some olympic winning body builder....ew)

Last Name: Miller
(Wentworth Miller from the show Prison Break, dang he is super hot!)

Age: 23
(I have no idea what this thing is supposed to mean)

Place I'd like to visit someday: Poland

Favorite Vacation Spot: Ocean City, MD

Past Celebrity Crush: John Bon Jovi

College Major: Public Relations

Place(s) I grew up: Pickerington, OH

First Job: Fishers Greenhouse

Favorite Treat: Chocolate

Favorite Food: Grilled cheese sandwich

Favortie Color: Pink

Somewhere I've gone today: US Cargo (oddly enough this is from our website!)

I could not get the last question to work, besides I have no idea what I am doing for dinner since I will probably be at Andrews. And my work sucks because its like 45 outside, we still have the AC on in here and its about 60! I forgot my sweatshirt and my face and hands feel frozen right now......why can't we turn the heat on....I mean really this is nuts!!!

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

The "itichies"

So my lovely flea bites seem to be getting better today. I got some benadryl cream last night and it seems to work better than the Caladryl that the doc originally told me to get for my bites. The ones on my feet seem worse today, but I am hopeful they will get better. I just don't want to look all gross for the two weddings I am going to this weekend!

I am super excited for next weekend, Andrew and I and the "in-laws" are going to the Haunted X haunted house at the old Mansfield Prison!! Its one of the longest and scariest haunted houses around!!! I love Halloween and I cannot wait to go!!!! Since we aren't doing something for Andrew's birthday this weekend that will be part of the celebration. Plus Erica (sister-in-laws) birthday is not too long after that, so we can celebrate both!

Other than my bites and all that lovelyness things are about the same. I am annoyed with this class I am taking, everything is emailed to us, including powerpoints (which I hate and want to never have for a class again) and he waits till 1-2 hours before class to send them to us. Ugh.....please let these 10 weeks go quickly!

Well thats about all for now.....I am just bored at work because my boss is not here and I have nothing to do....