Friday, January 15, 2010

love story

I was 15 the first time I fell in love, he was the first boy to ever pursue me. He was new at school, sat next to me in English class and asked me to come to the library with him one day. He had a big blue truck and eyes to match. A few weeks later we had a "date" at his house, we watched movies and he kissed me....I could have watched my heart float away on that couch. We went to Homecoming and I was so head over heels in love just 3 months into our relationship, but it was fleeting and he left me for one of my friends.

16 in love again, this time it was different. I pursued him, but he was so passionate about me and on a hot June afternoon, he became my everything and my first. By this time I was 17 and starting my senior year of high school, who knew that moment of passion would ruin our relationship. Soon he too was gone after 9 months and millions of notes, kisses, prom and homecoming together and quiet evenings together watching the stars on his back porch. He married the girl that he left me for about 3 years later. I had never felt so devastated by love.

Freshman year of college,18, living in the dorms with the worlds worst roommate. Her best friend from home came to visit, a 6'5" boy in tight jeans, boots and a cowboy shirt, he was NOTHING like anyone I ever dated before. We went dancing and I never left his side - I thought he might use me, but he turned out to be more than a fling. He drove for 2 hours every other week to see me, took me on fantastic dates and wooed me with Country music which I hated at the time. It was time for him to go to college, 23 hours away from Ohio but we stuck it out for 18 months. When he came back, he promised me forever, we even put a ring on lay-away. He got an apartment just 5 minutes away from my college, we were inseparable. Passion quickly turned to hatred. We spent too much time drinking and being wild and not enough time trying to love one another. Our breakup was an epic event of the exchange of things; we screamed at the top of our lungs and said horrible, hurtful things that still to this day cut me deep. We tried a few times to be friends and work it out. My longest relationship to date and the one that I can't ever seem to get out of my head. I went wild that summer after our breakup, partied and lived life like I never had before.....and maybe I never should have let myself get so carried away with my new freedom.

The following winter my first love came back into my life. Fresh off of a broken engagement (for both of us) and him home from a year overseas with the Navy. We went to dinner, no big deal, we had written emails back and forth while he was out at sea and became friends again after dating in high school. We came back to my apartment and suddenly there we were, tangled in a kiss and trying to make sense of the emotions we were both having. For the 3 weeks he was home I never left his side, this time it was forever.....this time we were going to do things right. He flew me to Virginia to visit him, we looked at rings and talked about what would happen when he shipped out again. By Valentines Day things weren't the same - I surprised him and came for a visit with his mom and dad, he didn't seem happy to see me. It was over and I was too blind to see that he was using me to get over his ex and I was using him just the same. He's married now too, I think he was seeing this girl for a few weeks before he dumped me and they're having a baby soon too.

I took a break from love after being so discouraged by what it had done to me. I moved back home, went on a few casual dates but I didn't want to put my heart out there. After some convincing from friends, I put myself out there in an unconventional way with a personal ad on a credited dating site and soon I was matched with many suitable guys. One of them pursued me and we started talking. I was 22 and he was 25, just home from college and starting his career. After nearly a month we decided to meet and go to dinner. That's how I met Andrew, at a mexican restaurant over Margaritas and Fajitas we talked for hours and we have been inseparable since then. I know he's the one because he's a combination in off all the qualities I have loved in men before. He works hard, he cares about me, he's quiet at first but quick to laugh, he's kind of a smart alec but in a cute way, he loves animals, he is silly and most of all he is respectful. Sure, we have had our times when things weren't perfect, but now I can see what all of the past loves have taught me and how they molded me into the woman I am today. I think we always think about and care for the loves of our lives, when we see them we feel a little ill and wonder what could have been.

I'm excited to start the rest of my life with Andrew, sure right now I feel like we are ready to be engaged and to be married but it will all happen in due time.

What has your love story been like? Did you fall in love more than once like me or save your heart for just the right person?

1 comment:

Amanda said...

I have spent too much time with all the wrong people. It took me a long time to heal from some of those relationships, to be able to reflect, learn, and then grow from those awful experiences. Not that they were bad people, we were just bad together. Really, really bad.