Friday, March 11, 2011

Funk or Quarter Life Crisis

Something's been going on with me lately and I can't quite figure it out....I'm either in a terrible rut or this is my "quarter life crisis."

This last month has been a roller coaster of emotions for me. I was so excited to finally be working again, but the job is not what I expected and I feel really overwhelmed. I don't want to sound like I'm being ungrateful because I know there are so many people looking for jobs, but please just hear me out. I feel like, and I know, that I'm not where I want to be in my career because I didn't graduate from college on time. It was a big and very hard decision for me to decide to go back to school last summer, quit my job and focus on getting my degree.

I just "assumed" that when I was done with school I would be able to find a job in my field, I've had two internships and many jobs that have helped me to build a really good resume. I know that I have a great work ethic that is appealing to employers in times like these, but none of those people wanted to hire me. I applied for nearly 150 jobs from October to the present and only had two interviews. I started applying for jobs that I could have done without my degree because I needed the money, I had to find a way to pay back those loans. So I went back to a receptionist job thinking it would be a good way to get my foot in the door.

In the last two weeks, I've felt an overwhelming sense of anxiety and doubt and its been affecting every aspect of my life. Most of the anxiety has been related to my job and the rest of it to all of this debt that I have. I've made an appointment to go and talk to my doctor but he can't see me till the end of the month. I feel like all of the time I spent going back to school to fix all the mistakes I made when I was young was a total waste of time. My degree hasn't really done me much good and I feel sick about it. I haven't been sleeping much, my social life is basically non-existent and at the end of the day I just want to be left alone. I really need something to pull me out of this funk and I'm open to any suggestions because I'm sure I'm not the only one who has gone through something like this.

I hate writing such a "downer" post, but I really needed to get this out. Its something that I feel needs to be shared so other people going through something similar don't feel alone. Its also therapeutic for me to get this out there so its not weighing on me so heavily. I'm hoping that since we are going out of town this weekend I'll have some time to unwind and stop thinking about work and stress for a few days. Nothing like a free nights stay at a casino and some free food and alcohol to brighten the spirit right?!?!

1 comment:

Gwen Wyntour said...

I didn't read this whole post, but I caught the beginning where you said you started a new job. New jobs are killer. Literally, I don't know how/why they can be so brutal, but they can. So ... be careful!