Wednesday, May 11, 2011

The Waiting is the hardest part

I wrote this post and never published it about two weeks before we got engaged. I thought it was funny and wanted to share because he had the ring since a WEEK after we went and looked and I had no clue! Its funny to look back and see how frustrated I was and how happy I am now that things have fallen into place!

I think Tom Petty said it best, the waiting really is the hardest part and there is something that I'm waiting for right now that's making me crazy.

Almost three months ago Andrew and I went to look at engagement rings. I already knew what I wanted, something simple and classic, but I wasn't sure if he would understand what I was talking about. So we spent a Saturday afternoon going to four jewelery stores and looking at rings. I found the one I knew was "the one" at the very first store we went to - it was so perfect. A round 1/2 carat solitaire in the center and 4 small accent stones on the sides in white gold. The diamond (which was loose from the setting) was nearly flawless and it didn't matter to me that it was smaller because it sparkled like nothing I had ever seen. We still went to the other three stores just in case I found something I liked more, but I didn't. After that weekend we talked a little more about getting engaged and then that was it.

Then about two weeks ago, Andrew bought a boat. Yeah, it was used but its not like that made it super cheap. He complains about money all of the time and even though I am working now, its still never ending. The boat pretty much emptied out all of the extra money that we had, which means no money for a ring.

I feel like our relationship is at a point now where we need to move onto the next level. Both of us are starting to get too settled with living together and the fact that we've been dating for almost four years. Everyone that I know is engaged, married, pregnant and so happy because of all those things. I don't want to be a "girlfriend" anymore, I want to be a fiance and then a wife and maybe a mother. Its not that I'm jealous of all this other people (although I'm not going to lie, maybe I am just a little bit) but I just feel like its time for this to happen.

This morning we had a small blow-out about money, getting engaged and how stuck I feel in the whole situation. I'm so sick of being told "a watched pot never boils" and that "if you stop bothering him about it, maybe it will happen" only because I feel like that watched pot has no water in it and that if I don't bother him at least a little about it, maybe it won't ever happen. I've been waiting my whole life to find someone who loves me as much as he does, who understands me, who lets me be myself and who I could not picture my life without. I guess I'm just ready to take the next step....maybe I should just propose to him!

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