Friday, July 20, 2012

why didn't anyone tell me?

When I finally got engaged I was so excited.  I had been waiting my whole life to be a bride, like most girls, and I was so thrilled to plan my wedding.  Little did I know it would not be all fun and games, that I was really going to test my limits and many relationships in my life.

So why didn't anyone tell me:
  • That my in-laws were going to tease me about my wedding dreams and plans.  Mind you, they are super cheap, hate weddings and think this is a royal affair.  It's mostly his mom and sister that like to tease me, and it really hurts my feelings.  They are not feminine at all and chastize me for being girly.  It's been really hard for me to deal with and there really isn't anyone who I can talk to about it either.
  • That after my in-laws agreed to pay for the food for the wedding they would ask me if we could have a potluck for the reception.  Half my family is traveling for three hours to not happening.  Thankfully I put that fire out quickly.
  • That my mom would be INSANE and freakout constantly, that my email, text and phone would be blowing up with her questions almost everyday.
  • That I would have weekly emotional breakdowns, nightmares and a stomach aches.  Last night I cried myself to sleep with worry about how we would pull it all together.
  • That it's really hard to save up the money needed, even if you're having a cheap wedding.
  • That eloping would have been a better idea and/or leaving my mother out of this entirely.
  • That everyone would have an opinion about every decision I make: the food, the dress colors, my dress, my hair, my weight.......
I never could have dreamed that this would be so frustrating and that I feel like the happiness of my impending marriage has been sucked out of me.  Maybe Andrew was right, what really is the point of doing all this?  Its pretty much just for your family, right?  Why else would people put themselves through all this and spend a decent chunk of money.......

I want more than anything to wake up and not be stressed, to feel a weight lifted off my shoulders and to be EXCITED and HAPPY about my wedding.  How do I get to that point?  Is this normal?


K said...

I think weddings make people go crazy. I don't know what it is. I mean, my former best friend and MOH and I don't talk. My MIL went from sweet and innocent to sneaky and passive aggresive. And everyone else has something to say about EVERYTHING. Honestly, if you are THIS unhappy, DO something about it. You only get one day. Figure out how to make this YOUR day and do it. Forget everyone else!

Unknown said...

Engagement sucks, especially for someone who naturally worries and stresses about things. Wedding planning had me freaking out a little bit, and you know I just don't care about most things!
Is there any way to share how you feel with your in-laws? Or for Andrew to tell them that they can think whatever they want, but can they please be quiet about it?
I love your mom, but I'm not really surprised about her worry and stress being as much as yours. Unfortunately, she sometimes deals with it in a negative way. Is there a way you guys could do something fun together, like a spa day or something, where you both promise to not talk about the wedding and just have mother daughter time?
I wish I could help with your anxiety. I'm sending you relaxation vibes. Pretend they're real!
Last of all, screw everyone else and their opinions. Yeah, it would be nice if weddings could please everyone, but it's not everyone's wedding. It's yours. Every time someone comes at you with an opinion, just say "nope!" in a really cheerful voice. Don't explain, just keep going on with whatever you were doing before that. This is how I deal with my fit-throwing children, which everyone seems to become around a wedding, ha ha.

Of course, all of this stuff is my opinion, so feel free to ignore it all! I love you and hope you're well! Also, I want you to know that I tried to find a cheap plane ticket to come home and surprise you for your bridal shower (I would have crashed, I hope that's ok) but I couldn't find anything under $800. Sorry! I wish I was rich!

And you know you can call my mom and ask for help right? My family is there if you need us!